Mirror, Mirror

 

 Venus in Front of the Mirror
Peter Paul Rubens, 1613/1641



I am haunted by mirrors.

It took thirty-seven years, seventy-five pounds gained and lost and countless hours of angst (and therapy) to realize a simple truth: I do not look into the mirror at myself; I am looking for myself.  What does this mean for me as a writer?  Everything.

In a chapter titled Finessing Fear of his book The Courage to Write, Ralph Keyes includes a quote from Jill Robinson’s memoir Bed/Time/Story:

…The advantage of not knowing who you are is you can attempt to be all things to all men… or women.  My mother saw me always glancing in every mirror, every window;  in the gleaming blades of knives.  She said, “Jill is vain.”  She did not know I was looking to see who would be there this time.

Jill Robinson was in my head.  I had found a kindred soul  and, all at once, understood myself in a few inked pages. But there was no “Ah-Ha!” or joyous whoop, only a hot and stinging gathering of tears . 

 

Mirror, mirror,

On the wall, 

I don’t know you.

Not at all.



 Girl at Mirror, 1954
Norman Rockwell

This morning I looked hard into the mirror.  I looked past the tired mom, past the hurt friend, past the overwhelmed adult and blocked writer.  I searched for the faint outlines of what made me unique.  I caught a glimpse as the light shifted, but it was gone as quick as it came.  Fleeting, the girl with  sad eyes.

What does all of this have to do with writing?  While watching my reflection I realized my troublesome main character asks the same questions: Who am I beneath all these expectations, these labels?  Am I good?  Am I worth while?  Am I lovable?  Do I even care? 

She too is haunted by mirrors,both the mundane reflective surfaces and the metaphorical ones - the reflection of who she is in the faces of people around her.  Both of us are haunted by the terrifying "What If.".  What if, beneath it all, there is nothing worth finding?  What if, in finding HER, I will find ME?  That is Pandora’s box.  No wonder I can’t write her.  I am afraid of her.

I am a writer.  As such I require two things: something to say; and someone to hear it. What if, beneath it all, the struggle to write a novel, to find my voice, to see myself, there is nothing worth writing, nothing worth seeing, nothing worth reading? 

I write not only to tell a story but to also discover more about myself.   I put it all out there - my fears, my hopes, faults and strengths - for people to read and judge. 

 “Who am I? What do I think?”  asks Writer, me.

 “Who cares?  Why is it important?”  asks Reader, you.

It all comes down to judgment.  Writers write.  Readers judge. 

A reader’s time and money are precious.  It is a writer’s job to earn a share of those commodities.   Judgment Fest begins with the first read of the editor and culminates in sales.  Yes, writers write first for themselves, because they must, but we all need to pay the bills.  Ideas are free, heat and electricity are not.

Enter the independent publisher.  

Long maligned as a superhighway to clog the market with bad writing, independant publishing, otherwise known as vanity press, or self-publishing is gaining a foothold among new and established authors alongside smaller, specialized independent presses as well as the traditional large publishing houses. 

In a recent press release Amazon.com, Inc., announced Amanda Hocking, published through Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing, has joined eleven other authors in the Kindle Million Club, having sold over a million paid copies of her novel in the Amazon.com Kindle store.  She joins such authors as David Baldacci, George R.R. Martin and Stephenie Meyer as well as fellow independent author John Locke.

Self-publishing platforms such as Amazon.com’s Kindle Direct Publishing allow authors to bypass typical obstacles of traditional publishing. The danger?  A glutted market full of careless and inferior writing.  The benefit?  Higher profit margins for authors and an evolving, diverse literary marketplace more representative of a rapidly changing global society. 



Echo and Narcissus (1903),
John William Waterhouse



This idea of independent publishing is gaining momentum within the writing community.   International Thriller Writers now include seminars in self-publishing and marketing in their annual conference.  Writer’s Digest Magazine, a prominent resource for writers, is currently promoting the 20^th annual Writer’s Digest Self Published Book awards, a competition held exclusively for self-published authors and their books.



The face of publishing is changing and like any evolving entity there are bound to be growing pains.  When the time comes for the literary world to take a long, hard look in the mirror, what will it see?  For me, for my character and for the publishing industry, the story is still being written. 

Put on your seat belts folks. It could be a bumpy ride.

Ted Krever, author of Mindbenders has first hand experience with the highs and lows of the  self-publishing world.  I hope you enjoy the third and final installment of my interview with Ted Krever as we discuss the changing climate of the writer’s world.

Part One: Mindbenders

Part Two: On Writing

Part Three

Publishing today with AuthorTed Krever

RM:  We met at ITW - International Thriller Writers conference - ThrillerFest.  There were so many amazing authors there, new and established.  It was a bit overwhelming for a newbie like me.

KREVER:  It was an interesting conference.  The most interesting thing for me was the response when I told people I was a self-published indie writer.  It was like I was the correspondent for Al-Jazeerah. Everybody there was either 'published' or seeking publication from a traditional publisher. I seemed to become the emissary from the scary future.

RM:  Everyone is realizing the publishing industry is changing but no one knows what that means- exactly.  There were a number of Indie publishers there, StoneGate Ink being one I remember.

KREVER:  I'm not talking about independent publishers. I'm talking about authors publishing themselves.  There were a few of us there.  You have to do it all yourself- no mommy or daddy to hold hands with.

RM:  Self-publishing or independent publishing is gaining a corner of the market though.  I have seen it gaining speed over the past few years.  Even Writer’s Digest is recognizing the trend with articles, how-to’s and contests.

KREVER:  Yeah, but I was really surprised and taken aback by the response I got. I'm used to writers being very supportive. These guys were uncomfortable with me. I scared them.  Oh for sure, it's a new world and a big one. But it's scary to contemplate. It is scary.  These people wanted nothing to do with it.

RM:  In a "don't talk to the guy with the pencil protector and the liverwurst sandwich" kind of way or in the "Gee, I am on the bus he just launched himself off of...should I stay or should I go now?" kind of way?  I seem to remember one of the Big Guys saying he self-published his first novella this year at a session at ThrillerFest.  That same guy also cautioned to never, ever give up rites to epub without an expiration date.

KREVER:  [David] Morrell said he would never sign a publishing contract these days until publishers made major changes to rights and ebook pricing.

RM:  Ahhh. That is it.  I think the biggest issue with self-pub is the editing process. Writers want to keep the writing intact but sometimes an editor can make a big difference in a million small ways.  I think skipping the editing process with a professional editor is not only foolish but suicidal.

KREVER:  No question. There's an infrastructure to traditional publishing that indies are going to have to find a way to emulate. And right now there just aren't sensible alternatives. But they'll emerge as the market matures. In the meantime, I think the lack of gatekeepers is an issue too. I think reviewers will emerge who people trust. They won't be national names but you'll find two or three whose taste you agree with and they will be your guardians, the ones who let you now who is worth your time and money.

RM:  I can’t help thinking that novels we consider classics today might be labeled as “not relevant” in today’s market and would subsequently remain unknown.  Do you feel like the self-publishing trend along with independent presses could be the remedy for a seemingly finicky and capricious market?

KREVER:  I had a really good agent tell me about eight months ago that she loved ‘Mindbenders’ but couldn’t take me on because she didn’t ‘do’ paranormal. I said, “Great—tell them you don’t like paranormal but you like this” and she answered “That’s not how it works.” And it isn’t. First of all, I don’t like the labeling—the marketing department runs the publishing company now. What ‘genre’ is ‘Huckleberry Finn’? I’m certainly not comparing myself to Twain but I’m saying the tail is now thoroughly wagging the dog.

I think the solution involves another step in technology. Right now, you have publishers—traditional or independent—who can’t afford to sell an ebook at a competitive price. And you have indie writers like me who can’t get paper books in bookstores nationwide, at least not in an effective way. Someone is going to have to put print-on-demand machinery in 5,000 independent bookstores around the country—the local independent bookstore will thrive as the chains go under—so that a customer can walk into the store, browse titles in a kiosk or on their own laptop or iPad , make a selection and walk out with a printed copy of the book all in one trip. The technology certainly exists, it’s just a matter of someone making the investment. It’s just a matter of time and industry politics.

RM:  So, Mr Krever, what is next for you?

KREVER:  The (first) sequel to ‘Mindbenders’. If aggravation is a sign of quality, this is guaranteed to be a great book.

~

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.  ~George Bernard Shaw, Poet  

To write what is worth publishing, to find honest people to publish it, and get sensible people to read it, are the three great difficulties in being an author.  ~Charles Caleb Colton, Writer~

Ted Krever’s books can be found at Amazon.com, at Goodreads.com and  BarnesandNoble.com

For more information about Ted Krever please visit www.tedkrever.com

Ralph Keyes and his book The Courage to Write  can be found here. 

More about Jill Robinson and her work can be found  here.

Find the Writer's Digest's self-publishing contest here.